My parents left around four that evening but Esther insisted she'd stay at my place for the night. We left Jude's family house by seven. Fatima and Esther engaged me in a very useless conversation, it had no direction but just so it wouldn't make them feel bad, I followed up.
Dayo called me later that evening.
"The real bae." His voice was rich with laughter. Mehn, when was the last time I heard someone laugh?
"Dayo." I tried to laugh too. "How are you jor?" Dayo was my very close friend. We'd been friends right from my secondary school and were this >< close to dating. I really didn't know why we didn't date eventually, he was schooling in the east now... and his family had relocated. So instead of lovers, we were close friends. I hadn't told him about Jude's death. During the entire time, I didn't make any public announcement on social media. I didn't want any condolences anymore so Dayo not knowing was working in my favor for the time being.
"I'm fine baby, I've missed you."
"I've missed you more. How's school? Hope you've been eating?"
"No girlfriend. All this girls here don't know how to appreciate a good looking man."
I laughed. "What of Chika? I thought she was your soul mate?"
"You this girl."
"Ehen... Tell me."
"How many times will I tell you? There was nothing between us."
"And you kissed her abi? How many times sef? Lemme count..."
"You no dey forget? No one can take your place in my heart"
Dayo had no idea but he was making me smile. "I love you too boo." I said. I was feeling much lighter.
"You love who? When you're there dating that hausa boy." He said jokingly. I smiled. "You no love me anything."
"Well, you caused it. You said you liked my friend."
"Which one? Is it the one that has big ass like you? Eh... What's her name? Fatima?"
"You too like ass. Hope it won't lead you to hell?"
"I am covered by the blood of the lamb."
"I hear you..."
"But, serious, if you no go leave that hausa boy for me, leave your friend for me then."
"Fatima is contending with two boyfriends Dayo... Go away." I said. Fatima stopped folding and glared at me. I knew... It was a lie but I couldn't lead Dayo on.
He laughed. "I've missed you. I've forgotten how good it felt to hear your voice."
"Don't divert. You should eat well. I know you, you don't eat." I said. Fatima eyed me. I knew why.
"Okay ma. How is school?"
"School is fine. I'll be coming to Abuja tomorrow." I lay down on the bed and closed my eyes. The throbbing headache wasn't going anywhere. I needed to sleep.
"Are you serious? I'm coming to Abj tomorrow too. Shey I'll be able to see you? How long are you staying?"
"A week. We could go out."
"Cool. It's a date then. Greet Fatima for me... And her ass mehn."
I laughed lightly. "Bye"
Since NEPA were nice and had left the light, I began putting my things together. Fatima helped me pack up while Esther busied herself in the kitchen looking for what to eat.
"I'm hungry." I suddenly announced. It made Fatima laugh.
"There's cornflakes." Esther said from the kitchen.
"Shey you go chop?" I asked Fati.
"I wan chop poundo." She said twisting her face.
"For evening your brain dey need battery." I said. Esther laughed and Fatima playfully hit me.
"Dayo done make you smile na... you don get mouth. Yeye pikin."
"Abeg Esther, make the cornflakes for everyone."
"So I can't tell my friend to pound yam for me." She pushed her mouth.
"Idiat."
We talked while we put things together and put the room in order. Some unnecessary things and even gossiped... Yes, we were that petty. Fati was the best gossip in my class and probably in the whole of UJ. She had time for her studies and that part time job that nobody paid her for... I always listened though. She was my friend.
I picked out a purple dress to wear, Jude had bought it for me. We sat down to eat the cornflakes that Esther had made in bowls. I took that time to yab Fatima, I knew she didn't descend on me because I had earned the right and because of Esther who kept suppressing her laughter.
"I go woze you slap. Your children go get him leg."
I shrugged. "Better him na. What of Ken? The head boy! Him head fit break anything." I laughed as I pushed my bowl away. Fatima laughed.
"The boy get liver. Him been dey prophecy love to me, and na church boy... Ah swear, him even quote scripture."
No, this was too much. I didn't reign in the laughter. Even Esther let go. Fatima was the only one not laughing although she smiled broadly. She didn't want me to turn her to the center of ridicule.
"The Lord told him it was you!" I raised my hand and nodded my head.
"Idiat."
"I remember one time it was raining... And he wanted to pick you up and leave me." I turned to Esther. "E, I was shivering like mad. The boy has a car oh and he wanted to pick my friend and leave me. I no blame am... I now understand he saw a future with you." I said turning back to Fati.
"The boy na fool."
"Na God save you say you refuse, I for pour water untop una."
"I can never do that to you. You be my padi. Ken get big head... him suppose go surgery for that head. Na massive head him carry."
"Tell am na for the benefit of una pikin."
"Your butt sister." Fati said with perfect accent. She rose to her feet and made to the kitchen.
"There's a boy in my school that has big head too..." Esther started. I knew who she talked about. The first time I'd seen him, I'd frozen like I was turned to salt. His was a medical condition.
"Ah, E... That one is Ken's senior oh. His is a medical condition now." I said.
We talked on about toasters. The very stubborn ones, the stupid ones...
"The kind of people wey dey follow me sha... One say him name na Wisdom... But honestly, he's fine.... Where my phone?" she reached for her bag and got her phone, went into her gallery and showed me his picture.
"What kind of a name is Wisdom?" Esther asked.
"He's wise enough to see a wife in her."
"Your upper intestine." She hissed. I knew the boy. I laughed. This was just funny.
"I know him. He told me his name was Kevin. UJ boys ehn... Sometimes them dey fuck up. Which one be Wisdom?"
"He's igbo."
"He wanted scoping me one time. I usually see him in school now. The first time I met him, I'd had cramps and had to go home. He followed me from Skye hall to the gate. I wasn't in the mood, I just gave him my number."
Fati shook her head. "Issay very bad thing."
"So him been scope you before? No gree oh, before him go give una pikin sentence say na name."
"You're mad." Fati said in an icy voice. I laughed at her. Soon, it was Esther telling stories about her classmates, seniors and teachers in school. I was sleepy so I left them talking. I mounted the bed and soon drifted off to sleep.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
I was in a garden, I didn't know which garden but it was in Jos. I was setting a mat for picnic, I was the only one in the garden. No one else was with me. After I had set everything, I sat on the mat. I waited a while, hunger clawed at me so I decided to serve myself while I waited. That was when I saw him from a distance. The place all of a sudden turned foggy, he looked spoke a silhouette walking through the fog. I rose to my feet and walked towards him, each step I took increased the fear in my heart, the hurt, and at a point, I couldn't walk anymore. I was shaking and crying and running towards him, screaming his name as I ran. He ran towards me too, arms open and flailing like a bird, soon we were in each other's embrace... And oh! How I wept! He held me to him and said nothing, he just held me. After some moments, he pulled back and I looked into his face. He smiled at me and I felt something... Anger, deep fierce spread within me. I hit him hard across the face.
"WHY??!"
He held my struggling body against his to calm down. When I was still, he rose my head and kissed me.
"Yu, I love you beyond life and death." He kissed me and then the setting changed. I was in his bed and I realized, this wasn't just happening. It was an excerpt from my memories, the first time we'd made love. The day he deflowered me, the 6th of April. This didn't start from the beginning where I'd come, I'd cooked to celebrate our anniversary, I'd taken my bath and come out to see complete want in his eyes, where he'd given me privacy to dress up by stepping out because he'd thought I wasn't ready... no. It started from where I lay on the bed in only my panties and my bra, after I'd made up my mind that I'd wanted it to be him and no one else, after I'd managed to seduce him enough to insanity. He's been rough with his kisses but gentle with handling me. I'd experienced that day over and over in my thoughts and here it was again in my dream.
I had been anxious and uncertain, I kept biting my lip as he undressed so my mouth wouldn't change my mind for me.
When he'd undressed, he came to me, knelt in my between my thighs... This time, I heard nothing save the beating of my heart against my chest. He looked at me and I smiled quickly at him like it was expected of me.
"You don't have to... We didn't have to. We can wait."
I took deep breaths, apparently, I hadn't fooled him. He began to pull back but I trapped him in between my legs.
"I want this." I said determinedly.
"We're not ready."
"I am."
He looked at me. "Yu, we don't have to do this."
I sat up and pulled him to me for a thorough brief kiss.
"I want to." I wanted to show him that I meant every word, I actually did but I was nervous. When I laid back on the bed, his eyes were dark with desire and he didn't hesitate anymore. He yanked my panties off and undid my bra.
Everything was heated. Everything. And when I couldn't take it anymore, I cried for him. He looked at me again, silently asking if I was sure and I nodded my consent while tugging at his boxers. He took them off and I boldly looked at him before turning away.
"It'll hurt." I said. I heard him chuckle.
"I'll be gentle, I promise you. And if you want me to stop, I will."
I nodded.
"We need condoms..."
"No, I want it like this__"
"Yu... Eunice..." It was Fati's voice. I opened my tear drenched eyes. Esther and Fati sat up in bed looking at me, Esther with concern, Fati with understanding. I couldn't get myself. I bursted into a fresh round of tears, Fatima held me to her as I cried. It is was hard going through this. Death was hard.
"Jude..." I croaked.
"You'll be fine baby." Fatima whispered. I began to sing, I sang anything that came to my mind. From real songs to words to rubbish. I got exhausted and slept off, peacefully.
(Thank you for reading. Please, don't forget to comment and vote for your girl. I'm sorry about the interval between my postings today. I'll make it better tomorrow. Keep showing love. Don't forget to tell a friend to tell a friend.)
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